If only....

Its been a year since I appeared for CAT 2008. I vividly remember, how I had gone into the examination hall free from any pressure or nervousness. It had nothing to do with my preparation level or confidence. It was just that at that time I had some other plans and they seemed to be very much on track to frution. Later though, as many people know, CAT was the one that worked for me. Many people like me who somehow could make it through had joined some B-School or the other in pursuit of a better career ahead. I am not going to evaluate the decision but my purpose here is to deal with another question. What would have life been like, if things would have taken a different turn that day and for the following days.
I am pretty sure that everyone( or maybe most) goes through the mental process of visualising how different things would have been, had they not taken a particular decision or acted in a different manner. Its really strange when we get a lot more ideas about the situation at that time, than what we thought of then. I guess, that is the main difference in Real Time decision making and introspection. "If Only" - that is the thought which has crossed my minds numerous times. If only had I behaved differently, had I said "Hi" or had I said "sorry", had I taken this decision or had taken the inititaive, had I been more sincere or worked harder, had I said this instead, had I been there or had i done this or that...and what not. The list goes on. But finally I have developed a belief that this particular dilemma is what characterises life. If we would have acted differently, we would have still thought about still another option. Even if we had an ideal, fully predictable life, then how dull would it be. I mean, this uncertainity is what makes life so exciting. I guess this is why we are how we are.
It does not mean that we do not look back and try to analyse things. Because by doing that, can we discover our mistakes and then try and improve. That is what experience is!!!! It is really tough to just forget the past and don't feel sorry for your mistakes or misfortunes. And maybe that is not possible. But, we must take a call on whether to keep looking back or move forward. As for me, I have realized that you can never predict life. So utilize all the options you have today. Atleast that is what I have been through...Who knows what works tomorrow!!!!!